Sometimes the hights, somtimes the lows


Tired and exhausted, I slept on the couch at noon. Since Sunday I have - like my husband since last week - diarrhea, stomach ache, nausea and vomiting. Then I had a dream:
I'm looking through the window and watching a woman fidgeting in the street outside, making funny movements. I go outside and speak to her. I invite her to visit me. She agrees immediately. I think that we could go somewhere together and ask:
Do you have money, then we can go somewhere. She immediately agrees and wants to come with me. But I say that I want to visit my parents today, she should come back tomorrow.
(Note: In the streetcar I observed some young people. One young woman had holey jeans on and splints around her knee. She told me she had fallen, on the stairs, but nothing was broken. She had a lot of bad luck with her knees lately. One of the young men said he felt like 'going boozing' and the woman replied, 'Oh yes, I feel like going boozing.' The young man asked her, 'Got the dough'? And she said: No. Then I think the men no longer wanted to 'go boozing' and pay for them with ... )
Then I was in the dream in a wild but interesting natural landscape, with steep slopes, heights and deep valleys, with paths on steep slopes. There I was on foot and had to be careful not to fall. Then I looked from the heights into a deep valley, there was a campsite by a stream and a few people and a campfire site with wood. It was daytime. A voice said, "Sometimes the highs, sometimes the lows!"
After each turn of the path, the panorama changed and I thought: How do I find my way back home, I don't even know my way around anymore.
Sometimes I saw wide meadows on slopes, then I saw a blue shimmering water filling a gorge, then I saw rugged rocky landscapes, then I saw artistically designed residential landscapes with houses that were completely open, accessible to everyone and with wide corridors, which were all connected and one could see people walking by and talking, coming out of one of the corridors I suddenly found myself in the midst of fog so that I could not see my hand in front of my face and this fog then dissipated on the spot and I found myself in glistening light, everything was colorfully painted and artistically designed. First I visited a lady in the open apartments and linger a while as if I were invisible, watching her talking to others passing outside. Then I see a retired couple driving in a small vehicle that handles every steep slope and hill with ease and they say, 'Without this vehicle we would be condemned to sit in the apartment because we can no longer walk and now we can drive and go outside'.
Then I was again as if invisible in another apartment and I sat down next to a couple who must have been watching TV while I was leafing through a book in which were all paintings, of very simple structure, something like this: 


Then I saw how I also made very simple shapes out of paper, such as a duck or something, from which, when it was finished, another shape was pulled out of it and chugged it so that it could not sink back into the form and on it was written: Waiting
When I woke up, I realized that I was meant to paint and craft like this, but I was too limp and tired and didn't want to, but to recover first from the strain of the last three years.
"She's scared!"
Creating cult and shapes again. I thought, we're not supposed to do this anymore.
"You sit down and shape this!"
When I calmed down, I looked at our living room and found some things that could serve to be painted by me and made small pictures of them in my notebook, a fish, a cockchafer, various leaves of plants, a vase, a heart, some flowers like above.

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